i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
