So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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