I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
