You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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