omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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