IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just found puke in my bra..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
