That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
