Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
