worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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