I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize