i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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