that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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