i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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