I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
