Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
