Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
