he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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