i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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