I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize