There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
