we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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