I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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