On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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