was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
