The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
