I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
