when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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