Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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