Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
