you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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