I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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