Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
