Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
