so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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