she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Mom said you looked used
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
