i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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