I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
