My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We are two peas in an std pod
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
