Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
this hospital has no fireball
I just sucked dick on a ferry
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
