I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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