So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize