Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
