Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
