I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize