I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
