they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
