There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish i was in the wii world.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
