Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I am available for nakedness
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize