In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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