Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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