She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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