What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
