What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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