whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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