apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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