i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
