Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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