Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My cat gives me a boner
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
