I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
