do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
