her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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