it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
