yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
This toilet bowl is my home.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
