That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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