I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
