it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
