Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
